Choke me in the shallow waters, Before I get too deep

‘I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light’ Woody Allen , Annie Hall

Yankees vs Red Sox, Upstate vs ‘the City’, LA vs SF, so let’s just say I’ve had my share of geographic rivalries.

So here I am a couple of hemispheres away, and yet the rivalries still exist. This time it’s Sydney vs Melbourne.

We are down in Melbourne for the Australian Grand Prix. I have been to Melbourne a handful of times, and, let’s just say, I might side with the Sydneyites on this.

But remember, I also side with LA-LA land in the SF vs LA debate, as well as the East Coast vs West Coast debate. I LOVE turning right on red! I might be shallow.

But on this trip to Melbourne, I went in earnest to see why someone would prefer one to the other. Here what I learned.

An Italian waiter in an Italian restaurant told us that he lived in Sydney before he lived in Melbourne, but for him, Sydney was just too shallow. He did not elaborate on why Melbourne wasn't. I need to investigate the relative depth of Sydney Harbour to Port Phillip Bay. But perhaps his comment was too deep for me!

So here’s my assessment:
Melbourne sits on a river that looks like the Seine with faux ‘bateau moches’, giving it a ‘European’ feel. It has street cars like San Francisco. People sit with their newspapers at breakfast like in NY. It has freeways like LA. It has nice bike paths. The weather is unpredictable, cool and wet. And it has Costco. (OK that’s a good thing) I’m not really sure how these pieces fit together. I am reminded of brands that don’t have a clear sense of purpose, and instead copy and borrow willy-nilly from competitors without knowing why.

Sydney’s proximity to the ocean gives it a beachy and laid back feel, even if you are downtown. Sydney is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. It is amazingly livable. It has a vibrant arts community. It has the Sydney Opera house, which is as ambitious in its delivery of entertainment and culture as its architecture promises. It never takes itself too seriously. People in Sydney just seem to walk around with a smile on their face. It is a brand that has a sense of self. It is about getting the most out of your life… be it physically, mentally, professionally, aesthetically.

So, for me Sydney’s purpose and benefits are clear. And it’s hard to find a similar experience anywhere else in the world. Yes, we’ve already established that I might be too shallow to appreciate what Melbourne has to offer, but I’m quite focused and happy in my shallowness.

And, while it’s hard for me to say it, I just don’t want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to shop at Costco. Besides, Costco is coming to Sydney in July…

Shopping and Maslow's Hierarchy

‘Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone?’ Joni Mitchell

So let’s just say that I’ve never made it to the top of Maslow’s hierarchy. And let’s say that somewhere between basic physiological needs and self-actualization, there exists the need to shop. This appears to be my lifetime destination on this silly pyramid.

Anyone who knows me knows 2 things. For me, shopping is not the thrill of the hunt, but rather the thrill of hanging the head on the wall. I want to get the most trophies for the least effort. Thus, as far as shopping goes, I am a creature of habit and a creature of habits. I have my stores, my brands, and my purchase cycle…which is short. I turbo-shop on a regular basis. Navigating through each excursion with a specific trophy in mind. And sales? Please too much effort is required to find the right thing in the right size.

Nordstrom, Niemen Marcus, Anne Taylor, St. John, Cole Haan are usually sure bets for the essentials. I love the Gap for throw-way fashion. And for everything else there’s Costco.

Somewhere between the time we decided to go to Sydney and the time we physically arrived, I found myself in a sheer state of panic. While I don’t want to liken this to any catastrophe in which blood has been shed, it was certainly traumatic.
On one of my routine visits to the Cole Haan, website, I discovered that there were not distributed in Australia. Cole Haan as in Cole Haan Nike Air. My feet have been monogamously faithful to this brand for many years! My closet currently contains over 36 pairs. These are the ‘essentials’ that I took to Sydney (see previous blog on closet space)

Next stop, Costco website. ‘Coming to Sydney in 2011’. Can I survive the hiatus? Doubtful.
Hmmm…I guess this old dog was going to have to learn how to hunt for new game…

Practicing deep breathing exercises, I headed to the Westfield mall…or shall I say ‘a Westfield Mall’. It seems that they have the corner, or every corner on retail.

As I stepped into the mall, I suddenly knew what it is like to be illiterate. None of the logos made any sense. I had no idea what to expect from anyplace! Quality, fit, style. It was all too overwhelming. And the prices…OY!

Hyperventilating into my paper bag, I decided I just wasn’t ready yet.

Much to my delight, a couple of month ago The Gap opened its first store in Sydney. AHHH. Finally…disposable fashion at my fingertips…or at least pretty close. After walking 3 km from home to get there I discovered two unanticipated and serious problems. First of all, The Gap is a Northern Hemisphere company. I had never considered the consequences of incompatible hemispheres on disposable fashion until I saw all the heavy sweaters and jackets on display in December—the first month of summer here!

But much more to my chagrin was the price tag! What were $50 jeans in the US were $110 in Oz. Clearly I was not in Kansas anymore!

Back to square one. Ahh but that night I got on the Gap website and discovered that they now ship overseas from the states. Even to Australia. Ah…I could get around this problem. I found the $50 jeans! Oh, I’m so clever. OK I’ve got all my billing and shipping info in. Let’s see the grand total. Jeans--$50. Shipping--$60!!!

OK, so here I am. How have I been coping?

Besides not well, the answer is that I maximize my trips back to the states. In January, I had a trip to Denver. I brought a near empty large suitcase (the one that I used to carry my inflatable bed and bedding when I moved here). And shipped a whole bunch of stuff, including a quarterly supply of Cole Haan to my hotel. By the way, Cole Haan is owned by Nike. Please note the accompanying Nike stock price graph and my influence on it.

But, I have to say that there has been some upside to this whole thing. Without Costco, we have been buying our fish at the fish market, our vegetables at the vegetable market, and our meat at the local butcher. While it’s pricey, the taste is awesome…ten times better than the mass produced stuff. And, my husband ‘the Mayor’ has a chance to engage in a lengthy chat each day with each of the shop-keepers. When I shop with him, everyone knows his name!

And maybe, just maybe this means that I will learn to move beyond shopping to self-actualization….